How to make food. And stuff.

(Sorry about the HUGE gifs)

So, we all know that Magnus is next to fucking useless in a kitchen, so I made a recipe even he will be able to follow. Tonight we're having paprika-rice and some... chicken, milk, sauce, thingy.

So, you take some rice, just enough to feed yourself - you're not american. Add some oil, I used about 1½ tablespoon because... well I'm not american. And some paprika and salt.

And then you cook them. You should really know how to cook rice by now. If not? Well... tough luck mate.

Then you chop your veggies. I used, leek, sweet pepper, spring-onions and a chili. Yes, chili is a veg. Fuck off mom!

Then chop your chicken. Into bits. Or chuncks. Whatever man. As long as you can fit it into your mouth I don't care.

And you probably wanna season the meat a little bit here. I used black pepper, currypowder, salt and soy-sauce.

And, this part is almost fun! FRY THINGS!

Are you getting hungry yet? Well I was. This is a fucking drag when you have to take pictures as you're cooking. So I had some soup (which turned out to have expired back in oh-nine).

Right. Now it's time to FRY MORE!

Also, you might want to have a beer now. Like... congratulate yourself, and shit. You're doing good if you ain't burnt shit yet.

So, when you've finished your beer the chicken should be fried. And it's time to add some WHOLE MILK! 'Cus I'm skinny as fuck and I like milk and not the watered down shit you can buy.

Add some buillion (what the fuck is that called in english?) and some... puré... (LEARN TO SPEAK DANISH FFS! (or whatevs)) Stir and let it simmer.

And while it's simmering, have an espresso. It adds class, and makes people think you might actually know something about foodings and shit. 

And now it should be done. Serve with bread (and butter!) and beer!

Now eat it and be happy. Fuckheads.

Bacon, flæskesteg og riiigeligt med had.

Jeg kan ikke ta' folk der ikke kan lide det. 
"Men så er der mere til dig?" 
Det er ikke det der tæller. 

1. hvis de ikke kan lade det så laver de det næppe (kæresten laver sjældent kaffe da hun ikke selv drikker det, tilgengæld elsker jeg når hun engang imellem gør det. <3 Anyways - back on track!) MAEK MEH BACON & FLÆSKESTEG! 

2. How the fuck are you going to trust people who don't like the building-blocks of a perfect meal?! Jeg mener. Du kan jo for satan ikke stole på dem over en dørtærskel. Det er fucking russisk roulette når de inviterer på "god mad" ... jamen hvad fanden er det når du ikke kan lide / servere bacon eller flæskesteg? What. The. Fuck. 

3. MAEK MEH DINNER! 

Eller måske irriterer de mig bare. Lige idag er det svært at kende forskel på. Den lille jernkugle inde i maven, i ved, den der bliver så dejlig varm når man er fyldt med had? Den er varm idag. 

ps. jeg har fået en dyne der er lige så stor som min seng - det er fucking stort :o


(ps, dette er en test for at se om den nye feed-funktion virker)

Le Zombie-Challenge: Day 1.

Zombie Apocalypse, prepared are you? who'd you save and who'd you not, and why? Post pictures.

(disclaimer: for this blog I'm assuming that Zombies are like the one's depicted in Shaun of the Dead, seeing as that is both an excellent movie and I don't have the cardio for any fast-paced zombies.)

How can one prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse? I would be, by default, something which would come as a surprise. There are, however, steps you can take. And if you follow the steps outlined in "The Zombie Survival Guide", you're on your way. But, I havn't read it, and I'm not in favour of running myself according to something which 'might, hopefully, happen' so this blog will be about how I'm prepared [i]right now[/i] with no special steps taken.

So, what do you need for the Zuckalypse?
- weapons
- armour
- food
- shelter
- survival skills (urban and/or rural)
- alcohol and/or the capabilities of making it

What would be the ideal weapons for killing off zombies? For preference it would be something you could use from a distance, a projectile weapon, but that would, eventually, run out of ammo, besides I don't own any. I do, however, have my share of both sharp and blunt melee weapons. It would have to be heavy enough to bash in their skulls and destroy the brain, or cutting off the entire head, but also light enough so you wouldn't get too tired wielding it. Remeber I'm assuming that these creatures does not feel or react to any kind of pain, but cutting off limbs would slow them down even more.

At this very moment I have 4 blades(not counting knives), one axe and a large war-hammer which I would consider (remember I'll be talking armour later).

All four blades, and the axe, can be wielded in one hand, and with the exception of one of the blades, they're light enough to be used repeatedly for longer periods. The hammer, on the other hand, in a two hand weapon, and a rather short one at that, and very heavy! But it is, by far, the perfect weapon for bashin' zombie noggins'!

If moving around alone, I would go for the axe, the middle-most sword (the saX) and the short blade next to it as well. Reasons? Well, I could have all three weapons on me without being too encumbered. The sax is lightweight and sharpens up easily. The axe is fast, heavy and with a nice long beard if the Zs get too close. The short blade next to the sax is extremely light, it would NOT serve very well if it wasn't sharp, BUT the lightness makes it a good extra weapon.

The hammer is simply too encumbering :(

Moving on to armour.
Remember, we're assuming these Zs are rather slow and infect by biting. So I've opted for the perfect fit for my chosen weapons, either of these shields:

They're both 16mm thick and made from sturdy wood, this makes them slightly heavy, but also very, very durable. Especially against those pesky zombies. Use the shield to hold off the biting horde while you chuck away at them with either axe or short <3 If I had to choose, and if I'm running around alone, I'd chose the large one, the green, covering most of my torso it would be ideal!

You're bound to get hit in the head, one way or the other, and for protection against that I have two options:

I'll choose the right one. Even though it doesn't look as fancy as the other, I doubt that I would have any need to protect my cheek-bones. With this helmet my head would be protected against all kinds of bashes and such.  However, when thinking about it, maybe I [i]should[/i] choose the other helmet. Were I too crash on my bike, it would provide much better protection! Yes. That'll be the one. True anti-Zombie viking.

As for the rest of my body I have a thick padded coat which I'll use

It's thick enough for the Zs not to be able to bite through it, and it will protect me against most other things as well. My hands will be protected by a pair of sturdy gloves with a hard plastic covering, sadly I don't have a picture of those. I realize that my legs and feet will have hardly any coverage, though I would be wearing my sturdy military-grade boots. (Note on weapons and armour, it's actually light enough for me to be able to ride my bike <3)

That - I think, concludes the weapons and armour part of this blog. And I've suddenly realized that the Vikings might just have been the people best suited for a zombie apocalypse.

Now, shelter. Where should I hide out from these nasty biters? Well, because I live in the middle of Odense I have a few options. I could stay in the dorm in which I live, it's a quite sturdy building, made of concrete and with few access points, [i]but[/i] the room I live in is on the groundfloor and has a huge window facing the street - that would certainly be a disadvantage! One could also consider the OBC - but again, there are some huge faults in the design, particular in a sure-fire way to keep out Zombies! It would be the same with the old Thrige buildings. What else is there? The old harbour of course! It's littered with old, very tall, and rather well-built storage buildings! And several of those are actually filled with either food or materials for safing the building itself! Also, along the piers there are several boats which could be utilized in an escape should the situation become too much to handle! Another little nifty thing to note, it that it's quite, quite close to where I live! I would actually have a chance at getting there.

As you can see on the map - there are also several ways to get there, in case the most direct route is blocked. There is also a bridge which, if destroyed, limits access to the pier to waterway only. The gap would be too big to jump, however athletic the zombie is.

Several of the buildings along the opposite pier holds food, primarily grain, from which you can make porridge, or even alcohol if needed!

Now, I know I havn't adressed all of the issues, like who to save and who not to, but it's already become quite a lengthy blog >.> But I'll throw you a bone, and add the issues to a later blog. Raluca, roommate, would definately not be one I would save, I would actually use her as bait. For two reasons:
Were she to live, she would distract every other surviver with her highpitched screams and she'd constantly nag everyone with her uselessness. And, perhaps most importantly, were she to be bitten, I'd have to kill her - she'd then rise as a zombie and I'd be... "forced" to kill her again. <3 :D

Remember, equipments-wise, I've only counted things I have in my room at this very moment!

Tune in tomorrow for: "2. Assume that you are 'pro-life', how would a Zombie-Apocalypse affect your stand-point? Discuss."

Le Zombie-Challenge!

I've decided to give myself another blog-challenge, even though I failed miserably the first time. This time it's going to be my own topics, or rather, mostly my own. There's going to be one overall theme. And seeing as we're currently hurdling through space in the year 2012 I thought that: "Zombies and the end of the world" would be nice and proper.

It's going to be something like this: I write up 3-5 topics which will be what my next blogs will center around, but at any time you, the readers, can submit ideas and new topics (though they have to be within the overall theme, 'photo' topics are allowed as well). Also, aiming at half a page (around 700 characters) per topic. Hopefully I'll only end up having to come up with the first couple of topics myself. First blog will be the 7th of this month. I'm aiming at minimum 10 blogs, though there is no maximum!

They will be published on Blackmarket.dk, Caffeine-deficiency.blogspot.com, and ieattastymeat.tumblr.com

topics:
1. Zombie Apocalypse, prepared are you? who'd you save and who'd you not, and why? Post pictures.
2. Assume that you are 'pro-life', how would a Zombie-Apocalypse affect your stand-point? Discuss.
3. Are you scared of zombies? Discuss.
4. Write a short-story about being a teenage zombie girl attending Z-High School.
5. Write an article about how Zombies could benefit the world economy.


disclaimer: may contain traces of nuts and brainmatter!

"I'd rather go naked than wear fur, but I'm not allowed :("

S'jøst. Jeg gider ikke deres skide propaganda mere. Jeg gider ikke folk der ikke har andet i hovedet end deres propaganda. Jeg gider hverken se eller høre på det. De er fanatikere, og de er fascister. De tåler ikke at andre mennesker har andre meninger, og de tåler ikke at deres 'mening' ikke altid bliver hørt ej heller er den eneste.


Jeg har intet imod veganere og vegetarer. Jeg har altid tilovers for dem der kæmper for bedre dyrevelfærd i opdrætningen af 'industrielt kød'. Jeg mener bare ikke at svaret er vold, hverken verbalt, billedligt eller fysisk. Og det er netop det de spiller på. Vold og følelsesporno. Det er snuff, følelses-snuff.


"Ville du gå i pelsen hvis det var din hund?" - næppe, for jeg har ikke hund. Men havde jeg en hund som blev aflivet, og jeg fik valget mellem at bruge skinnet og lade være? Jada. Hvorfor ikke? Jeg har gjort det med geder og får. 
Jeg var... 7 eller så da jeg så min første slagtning, af et får og nogle geder vi havde haft i et par år. Det jeg husker bedst var at mine forældre prøvede at holde mig fra at se dem blive slagtet, men at jeg alligevel sneg mig ind og så det - og var laaaaaangt fra så berørt af det som begge mine forældre troede jeg ville være. Og at kødet smagte fantastisk - og at vi brugte skinnene fra dem i mange år. Og jeg havde det helt fint med det!


Og jo, granted, det er helt, heelt, anderledes når det er på det industrielle plan, men det er ikke altid PETANIMA organisationerne tager højde for det i deres propaganda.

Jeg ville fandme hellere nakkeskyde...

den slags mennesker end at lade dem komme til stemme urnerne!

Jeg har i lang tid advokteret vigtigheden af at man stemte til [i]hvert
eneste[/i] valg. Jeg er endda gået så vidt flere gange at udtale mig om
at det var en borgers [i]pligt[/i] at stemme - og det mener jeg til dels
stadig.
Problemet er bare at jeg efterhånden har mistet troen på danskerne.

I første omgang er det folk større interesse for komplet ligegyldige
ting end hvad/hvem der styrer landet, jojo jeg forstår da godt at man
ikke kan gå og tænke på det konstant, bevares det gør ikke engang jeg,
men man bør i det mindste tage stilling, og ikke nok med det, så skal
man gu' fanden også vide hvad det indebærer.

Nu er der kommet noget andet op som har gået mig på de sidste par
måneder, ved folk ikke at de rettigheder vi har som lønmodtagere faktisk
ikke er lovmæssigt bestemt? Jeg har vitterlig indtryk af at folk tænker
mere på de kroner der kommer ind på kontoen, og hvordan de bedst får råd
til nye flotte smykker og fee sko, end på hvor[i]for[/i] de kan nøjes
med at arbejde 37 timer om ugen, hvor[i]for[/i] vi er berettiget til
ferie osv. Jeg græmmes hver gang jeg hører nogen sige at fagforeninger
er ligegyldige i dagens Danmark.

Derudover så bør alle folk der får en stemmeseddel i hånden have en god
lektion i historie, og hvorfor danmark har udviklet sig til det
velfærdsland vi alle er så glade for, og mener man ikke man er glad for
det... hell så skrid til USA og lad os andre kæmpe for
medmenneskelighed, forståelse, fællesskab og bevarelse af den danske
velfærd.

men [b]i sidste ende[/b] er de bange for at blive stillet helt og
aldeles alene, for de er jo netop også et produkt og "forbruger" af
velfærden, også selvom de ikke ønsker at indrømme det.

Mep.

thoughts.

warming as it ran down his throat, he put the glass back down on the table again. his mind was full of thoughts, thoughts about abandonment, imagined, real and to come. he felt like his thoughts spilled into the air around him. shaking his head, as if to dislodge them, he took another drag of his cigarette. he really shouldn't be smoking, nor should he be drinking. by by happenstance both vodka and smokes had been there. he'd been told ealier that day that all his dreams and plans might really be escapism, a way for him to avoid thinking of his problems. another drag and another swig. despite experiences, both helped him to clear his head. at least tonight.

escapism might be what he had become all about lately. truly he wanted nothing else but be able to escape... everything. his life, the people around him, the people further away, the city, even this day and age. he wanted so badly to leave it all behind and start anew. start anew somewhere else. somewhere he could be himself all the time, support himself, live day to day, with just the care of how to support himself further. cut all bonds.

all of these thoughts conflicted with much of his being. he loved most of the people surrounding him. he had been able to cut off most of the people who were cause of grief. he had a loving family, friends and above all a girl who he really loved. but somehow, tonight, they had all become second. second to him.

it was all normal, he guessed, that he should wound up feeling like this. again. as he leaned back, eyes half-closed, the scent of distilled alcohol in his nostrils, mouth and lungs filling with sweet-tasting round smoke, he imagined himself in a desert, far away from everyone and everything. blue sky above, horizon dotted with a few white could, the ground yellow, with streaks of red sand.
he imagined himself standing there, in the middle of a barren creation, arms spread, as he suddenly felt a tingling. the already thick air, suddenly getting thicker, electric almost. opening his eyes, looking upwards, he was a ring of clouds. surrounding him on all sides, pressing in. at last the thick dark gray rolling clouds covered even the last bit of the blue sky. and the rain began to pour. almost silent at first, then soon with a roar eradicating every other possible sound. he felt elated, he felt free. he began to laugh loudly - the sounds drowned in the falling water.

he opened his eyes again, shook his head. he couldnt even keep his mind in the room with him anymore. downing the last of the warming liquid, putting out the smoke, he ventured in search of sleep.